As the release of Sex and the City: The Movie draws ever closer, millions of vapid young women around the country are making plans to hit the multiplex with their equally shallow friends so that they can finally resolve all the questions that have been haunting them since the end of the series: Will Carrie and Big get married? Can Charlotte find true love after all? Why is Charlotte such a slut? [Note: I have never seen a full episode of Sex and the City and I'm too lazy to Google, so I'm going to assume that all of the characters who aren't Sarah Jessica Parker (gratuitous clip above) are named Charlotte.] And what about Charlotte and her baby, little Charlotte? How are things going with them? If you just can't wait, Women's Wear Daily published an essay today which reveals the answer to the biggest question:

How are the clothes?

At her best—or worst, depending on how you see it—Carrie entertains and impresses with imaginative combinations. As for her outrageous, often tacky, taste, she pulls it off with the help of Parker's taut, toned and all-around tiny figure—enviable on a 22-year-old woman, almost unthinkable on a 43-year-old—that can make even stonewashed, button-fly jeans look good. Or an all-black ensemble of a tarlike puffy coat, topped with a fedora; not to mention a pair of pajamas paired with a fur coat, white high-heel booties and a sequined beanie. Indeed, it's a taste of the wacky, and totally in character. Still, it fails to deliver the same euphoric fashion rush as did the series. Even the montage of Carrie cleaning her closet of supposed-to-be-shocking Eighties garb is too familiar to have the impact of, for example, that green satin ruffled-butt miniskirt she casually wore to dinner with Big during season six.

For me, this whole thing is like reading a DVD-assembly manual that has been translated from the Japanese by a non-native speaker, but there's a weird sort of poetry to it, don't you think? It's almost the platonic ideal of a Sex and the City: The Movie review.