"I've been green since before Al Gore invented the Internet," media mogul Ted Turner cracked at his own Ted's Montana Grill in Midtown for a discussion on how to help restaurants get on board with going green.

Things started off fine. "I don't like litterers nor trash near my restaurants or homes. I'm constantly walking around, picking up trash, even on my three acre lot in Georgia. I take a reusable bag, of course, and pick up all the trash. I pick up garbage in NYC, particularly if someone's looking. Then they say, 'If Ted Turner can do it, so can I!'" Turner quipped, sort of sticking to the talk's theme. Then faced with the challenge of her career—moderating Ted Turner—Deborah Roberts of ABC fame asked him what he drives. "I drive a Prius," Turner answered. "It's my primary car." And that's about when green gab went to pot.

"I do also have a Hummer," Turner continued. "I use it when I go quail hunting in the desert, because you can't drive over a cactus in a normal car. It's just like Iraq without the insurgents." Quick, get those quail some guns. Or someone start teaching them democracy.

Also, Teddy has a house in Florida, naturally. But not just because he's old. It's so he can be close to the governor. "The Florida governor is concerned because if the water level rises significantly, there is going to be no South Florida and the governor loses his constituents," Turner cracked.

Finally, despite not owning CNN any longer, Turner still watches it. "The flight situation these days is abysmal. I saw the news this morning and something like 5,000 flights are being cancelled. This is when I thank god I own my own plane. It's moderately sized, but it's enough to get down to Argentina, where I'm headed tonight. It's greener down there [in South America]."