•BBC News: "For consumers in Europe and the US the outcome is certain: prepare to pay more for clothes in the years to come. "
•Associated Press: "At the pump, the average national price of a gallon of regular jumped 2.3 cents overnight to $3.56 a gallon, according to a survey of stations by AAA and the Oil Price Information Service. Prices have risen nearly 14 cents in a week."
•Wall Street Journal: "I don't want to alarm anybody, but maybe it's time for Americans to start stockpiling food."

Uh, wow. But wait! Don't close the garage door and turn on the gas just yet! (Gas is way too expensive to waste on suicide these days anyway.) Relief is on the way!

"The Treasury Department will send out the first wave of rebates via direct deposit starting next week, and paper checks will begin going out May 9. The rebates are worth up to $600 a person or $1,200 a couple."

You hear that, America? If you hold out for a week or two, you'll have another couple hundred bucks to play with. That should give you at least another eight or nine fill-ups! Everything's gonna be just fine.

Eh, okay, we don't believe it either. Go ahead and panic, it'll probably make you feel better.