TEAR DOWN THIS THRALL Reagan

Mitch Daniels is one brave sonofabitch. The Indiana governor, addressing a group of his fellow Republicans at a conference, made the heretical suggestion that it was "time to let Ronald Reagan go." Further challenging the orthodoxy of his party, Daniels suggested that, just maybe, it's better to "look towards the future rather than staying in the past," offering the rationale that the idolatrous veneration of a man who left office nearly 20 years ago "was fine," but might be holding the party back a bit.

The unreceptive crowd immediately fell upon the governor and beat him senseless, bending his body into the shape of the Laffer curve and placing him atop a bonfire constructed entirely from copies of David A. Stockman's The Triumph of Politics.

• Pope Wondering Why Serena van der Woodsen Is Such A Skank
• Heartless Media Will Not Let Obama Finish Breakfast