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It's a Blast! Breaking Celebrity News Bits

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IN RESPONSE TO YOUR QUEERY The latest
Every once in a while, little nuggets of junk food drop into our inboxes here at Radar: celebrity magazine e-mail blasts. With little or no journalistic effort on our part, they keep us abreast of how stars are treating their children, who's banging (or knocking up) whom, and who, of course, is definitely not gay. The 5 to 10 words allotted for these pieces is really as long as they ever need to be, given the subject matter and the attention spans of most "readers" (read: pretty-picture lookers). After the jump, the best of celebrity blasts from the past few weeks and the story they tell ... about us ... as a people ...

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THAT BITCH There is no such thing as a slow news week at Us Weekly

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TOUCHÉ It's all they do anymore!

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NOT JUST BRANGELINA But a whole host of barren hags

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SOMEONE WRITE THIS DOWN But she let her boobs get her jobs

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FOR HER DOG (Perv)

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