Last night's "Idol Gives Back" had all the trappings of a regular telethon—celebrities begging for your help, clips of orphaned children to tug at your heart strings, Bono—but with one notable exception. Teri Hatcher. Singing. And while the overall effort of the show seems to have been a success, with the total number of donations jumping millions every half hour (the Prime Minister of Great Britain donated the equivalent of $200 million worth of malaria nets, Britney Spears!), there was just no getting past the Desperate Housewife's awkward and horrible rendition of Carrie Underwood's smash "Before He Cheats."

Exactly why this idea was realized will go down as one of the great television mysteries of all time, right there with the answer to the question "Who's Line is it, Anyway?" One suspects, though, that those sneaky Idol producers realized with their usual foresight that this could be one of the top water cooler moments of 2008 and took advantage.

Career and reputation damages aside, the night brought in the support of some of the most notable names and faces in music, movies, sports, and entertainment—a list far too long to detail here. Tonight expect the final tally of donations, which should fall somewhere neatly in the trillions, as well as the results from Tuesday night's performances and the kicking of one more contestant to the curb.