• Doctor, heal thyself: In the seemingly endless drinking game that is the Democratic primary season, DNC Chairman Dr. Howard Dean finally says enough is enough, telling super-delegates that he needs to know now where they stand on the Hillary/Obama divide: "We cannot give up two or three months of active campaigning and healing time ... we've got to know who our nominee is."

• American idolizing: British Prime Minister Gordon Brown met with Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and Barack Obama Thursday, and according to this exciting body-language analysis, it was Brown and Obama who had the most potential for getting cozy: "[W]hen SITTING, they show they enjoy each other's company, despite defensive clasps."

• In memoriam: Danny Federici, keyboardist for Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, passed away Thursday after a three-year battle with melanoma. He was 58.

WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Good news/bad news for Brit; Bloomberg gets bitchy; and Dita Von Teese flips the bird!

• Hollywood economics 101: The bad news is a court commissioner has ordered Britney Spears to pay various legal eagles more than $372,500. But the good news is she's getting to work out at Bally's Total Fitness for free, which saves like 19 bucks a month.

• Grown-ups' table: New York mayor Michael Bloomberg has yet to endorse a presidential candidate but says "at least we'll have an adult in office who can lead and can accomplish something." We're hoping anyway.

• Prisoners of sex: A sheriff in Oklahoma has been charged with running a sex-slave operation out of his jail and faces 14 counts of second-degree rape, seven counts of forcible oral sodomy and five counts of bribery by a public official. If convicted, he could serve as many as 467 years on the tail end of penal system gangbangs.

• Swan Lake: Burlesque lady and prop mistress Dita Von Teese has filed a lawsuit against a man who built her a 10-foot-swan whose fountainhead is malfunctioning. Apparently, it's pretty inconvenient and expensive to pack up a giant swan and send it back to its manufacturer.