ANY WHICH WAY BUT IRRELEVANT Wentz, Simpson monkey

• Mo monkey, mo problems: That bridge troll Pete Wentz and his knocked-up other Simpson extend their fame with a story about a sticky-fingered Costa Rican monkey. It's like Every Which Way But Loose but dumber. And shorter.

• Charlie Wilson's legal war: Arthur Kent, the Canadian reporter known as the "Scud Stud" during the Gulf War is suing the makers of Tom Hanks/Julia Roberts flick Charlie Wilson's War, claiming they used without permission parts of his 1986 news program on the Soviet-Afghanistan war.

• Exodus: Genesis fireplug Phil Collins is retiring from music to pursue his memorabilia collection from the Battle Of The Alamo. Not a damn thing to add.

• Fin.: A shark attacked and killed a 55- to 60-year old man in Solana Beach, California, today. "The shark is still in the area. We're sure of that," Mayor Joe Kellejian said. Wither Roy Scheider?

• Empire of Mimi: Giant New York erection glows pink, lavender, white for Mariah Carey's E=MC². (Via Gawker)

• Keep an iron grip on the capacity for silliness: British jazz/broadcasting legend Humphrey Lyttelton has passed away.

• Killer queen: An excitable couch potato kills a friend for talking over Tyra Banks through an episode of Top Model. That's fierce.

• Topless Miley Cyrus Pics Threaten Nation's Purity, Disney Profits
• Morrissey Fights Racism with $56K

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