Unlike last week's American Idol, Wednesday night's results show yielded no surprises, with an as-predicted all-female bottom three consisting of Brooke White, Syesha Mercado, and the ultimately canned Kristy Lee Cook. But that's not to say the night was without its curiosities and amusements. Could anyone figure out what Paula Abdul'sscarf/neck corsage/diamond necklace contraption was exactly? And was anyone else perversely pleased to see Mariah Carey return to stellar Mimi form, performing with a fan gently blowing her hair back, singing into a rhinestone-encrusted microphone and mic stand, all while wearing a skintight, short, and low-cut black scrap of fabric passing as a dress?

Gone was the poised, gentle Mariah of Tuesday, and back was the full-on crazy diva America has grown to love. Very pleasing, indeed.

Also pleasing was host Ryan Seacrest's continued cruel streak. The host finally brought back the "group game" of seasons past, wherein the Idols are called up one-by-one, but rather than instantly being told they are safe or in the bottom three, are instead divided into groups, presumably of the highest and lowest vote getters. The first six Idols were called: on one side stood David Cook, Kristy Lee Cook and Brooke White. On the other, Jason Castro, Carly Smithson, and Syesha Mercado. Immediately, text messages among me and my fellow Idol addicts went flying. How could David Cook, arguably the best performer of the night, be in the same group of Brooke White, who was possibly the worst? Surely, America would not let what happened to season five's Chris Daughtry happen to David Cook, sending him home too early after an amazing performance? And where does little David Archuleta go?

But oh, that wily moppet Seacrest. After making David Cook swap places with Syesha Mercado, he brought out Archuleta, told him he was safe and asked him to join the group he believed was safe with him—to the gasps of the audience. After a brief look of fear crossed his face, Archuleta took the diplomatic route, plopped himself on the stage Indian-style, and refused to budge. Seeing that his gag was up, Seacrest quickly told David Cook, Smithson, and Castro that they too were members of the top six, and then made quick work of sending Kristy Lee Cook back to her country roots to beg for the horse she sold to make it to her first Idolaudition.

Viewers were also treated to a performance from season five's Elliott Yamin who sadly shared the news that his mother, a constant in the Idol audience during his run on the show, had passed away. Yamin was sporting longer hair and new teeth—and his voice sounded as good as ever. If only he had looked that way during his season, he may have had a better chance of winning.

Next week: the songbook of Andrew Lloyd Weber. Raise your hands if you're ready to hear Syesha butcher some lyrics from Phantom of the Opera! "Music of the Night," here she comes!