Tuesday, Slate, like the New York Times before it and the New Yorker to follow, gave some heady space to the The Hills. And although the piece had more knowing wit, more cheeky humor, and fewer errors than the Times story, Troy Patterson's effort still suffered at the hands of the tricky Hills hierarchy: "Young zillionairesses waltzed in the background, extras attending Whitney's statement that, though she will remain forever grateful for the many doors her internship has opened, what she really wants to do is be a stylist." Of course, Whitney is no mere intern; she was hired as an illustrious "fashion contributor" at Teen Vogue some time ago. But why harp when there are also insights noting frenemy Whitney's "hints of Modigliani around her doe eyes"? After the jump, Radar goes to the Juicy Studio Readability Test for a final comparison of the two articles.

Slate, "A Unified Theory of The Hills"
Key quote: "The Hills, one supposes, is the lives of these women in the most complete way that a television show could be. These are real people pretending to be themselves and making a virtue of banality."
Total sentences: 156
Total words: 1081
Average words per sentence: 6.93
Words with 1 syllable: 642
Words with 2 syllables: 224
Words with 3 syllables: 138
Words with 4 or more syllables: 77
Percentage of word with three or more syllables: 19.89%
Average syllables per word: 1.68
Gunning Fog Index: 10.73
Flesch Reading Ease: 57.99
Flesch-Kincaid Grade: 6.89

The New York Times, "Career Climbing, With Claws Bared"
Key quote: "The show that looked, in all of its Antonioni-esque plotlessness and dreamy cinematography, at the ignominies of youthful friendship has turned toward the more conventional cruelties that good-looking playboys perpetrate on young women who wear low-rise pants and put on boots in warm weather."
Total sentences: 65
Total words: 687
Average words per sentence: 10.57
Words with 1 syllable: 416
Words with 2 syllables: 168
Words with 3 syllables: 67
Words with 4 or more syllables: 36
Percentage of word with three or more syllables: 14.99%
Average syllables per word: 1.60
Gunning Fog Index: 10.22 (note: that's still slightly below NYT average index of 11-12)
Flesch Reading Ease: 61.02 (note: the higher number here means it's actually more more readable than Slate's
Flesch-Kincaid Grade: 7.37

What it all means: Though the Times piece does have a moment of brilliance playing on The Feminine Mystique and referring to Spencer as "the problem with no name," the Slate article wins for having more syllables, more wit, and being intellectually rigorous without resorting to reference to Italian neo-realist filmmakers.