Ever wonder why Lauren Conrad seems like a bit of a teetotaler? She's trying to keep up her good girl image for branding opportunities. The Wall Street Journal looks at the selling of The Hills star. LC and Daddy Conrad have hired a flock of advisers to make the most of her non-talents. And, it ain't that easy. While series creator Adam Divello and the MTV gods are happy to profit off of Conrad's onscreen, ongoing feud with Heidi Montag (who's also working on a fashion line), they don't promote her other enterprises on air. And, if she's caught by the paps she readily courts, looking like she's been over-served, she'll hear about it from her parents, and her publicist, because, you know, sloppy drunk isn't good for business.

So, just where does Brody Jenner fit in with the Lauren Conrad brand? "He's a cute guy who's OK with filming," LC says. Girl, I think we've seen you drop some crocodile tears that suggest he's a bit more than that. Still, LC hasn't achieved our nation's highest honor: being featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan. "Playing yourself on reality television isn't to our reader the level of accomplishment that you need to have on the cover of Cosmo," snaps Cosmo EIC Kate White. Whatever. The Lauren Conrad Collection is selling well, she's working on a T-shirt line, and she's got dreams of designing furniture with a friend . Good enough for us.