• Getting a leg up: A judge will rule today on just how much Beatles cash Heather Mills gets from Sir Paul McCartney in their nasty divorce. While the exact number may not be made public, it's speculated that Mills will pocket £25 million. With the shitty state of the dollar, that's more than $50 million or over 9,000 hours with a seven-diamond-ranked prostitute.

• How low: In more great news about the economy, JPMorgan Chase & Co. is bailing out Bear Stearns, buying the troubled Wall Street firm for just $2 a share. One week ago Bear Stearns was trading at $70 a share.

• Rolling stoner: Rolling Stone and Louis Vuitton shiller Keith Richards says he still "smokes weed all the damn time" and digs that Amy Winehouse chick, though "that girl isn't going to be around long unless she sorts herself out pretty quick."

WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Halle Berry pops, Britney's naughty nurses, and New Jersey gubernatorial threesomes!

• Halle, baby: Halle Berry joins the ranks of other recently-popped celebs. She gave birth to a baby girl Sunday. No word yet on a ridiculous celebrity baby name.

• Naughty nurses: UCLA Medical Center is reportedly firing 13 hospital employees for snooping at Britney Spears' medical records. "It's not only surprising, it's very frustrating and it's very disappointing," the hospital's human resources director said of the not-so-surprising pop-tart-privacy-breaching incidents.

• And wifey makes three: A former driver for former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey says the governor's wife must have always known her husband was gay, because they were having some hot three-ways. The orgies usually got started after some end-of-the-week drinks at the local T.G.I.Fridays.

• Body of evidence: Investigators have found possible evidence of more graves at the murderous Manson compound.

• You can take it with you: Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis seems to have some sticky fingers.

• Soapy dogg: Snoop Dogg will appear on his favorite show, One Life To Live, and teach one of the regulars how to speak Izzle.

• Been there, done that: In the wake of the Eliot Spitzer scandal, one-time call-girl-caller Hugh Grant is laying low. Grant was caught looking for some oral pleasure from one Divine Brown in 1995.