• Special Special Comment: Keith Olbermann gets on his uniquely April fresh soapbox over racist-tinged comments about Barack Obama made by former congresswoman and now-resigned Hillary Clinton campaign finance committee member Geraldine Ferraro. Keith quotes Shakespeare multiple times then accuses Clinton of running like a (gasp!) Republican.

• Stripped away: Gay club peeler and Ricky Martin lookalike David Hernandez was sent packing on American Idol Wednesday night after his performance of "I Saw Her Standing There" failed to impress.

• Heroic measures: Activision, the maker of Guitar Hero, is suing Gibson Guitar for alleging that the popular video game infringes on a Gibson patent.

WAIT, THERE'S MORE: It wasn't Mary Ann's dope, Springsteen made her do it, and syphilis! (So much syphilis)

• No snitch: Recently busted Gilligan's Island star Dawn Wells is in luck. A third party has come forward and claimed responsibility for the Mary Jane found in Mary Ann's car.

• Hit songs: An Australian woman fatally stabbed her boyfriend after he wouldn't let her listen to a Bruce Springsteen CD. She's pleaded guilty to the crime and won't employ the ever-popular "Springsteen defense."

• Clap your hands say 'no': America's girls aren't the only one with STDs. Gay men and blacks contributed at an alarming level to number of syphilis cases nationwide, which have increased for the seventh year in a row.

• Find crappy service, delays elsewhere: Not-so-safe airline Southwest grounded 44 planes and canceled flights Wednesday to catchup on those pesky safety inspections.

• Short stuff: Spanish and Dutch scientists find that short men tend to be the most jealous of the species, confirming a hypothesis posed decades ago by Randy Newman.

• 30 minutes are up: Rachel Ray's days cooking on TV may be numbered due to low ratings—and probably the inability of anyone to scrub her FHM spread from their minds.