BLEU BALLS LC, Divello (inset) (Photo: Getty Images)

An Open Letter to Adam Divello on Occasion of the First Bonus Episode of the Third Season of MTV's Hit Reality Show, The Hills:

Ohmygod, hello again, old friend! My life was getting so bleak and re-run-filled, I wanted to thank you so much for bringing The Hills back with these super special bonus episodes—or whatever you're calling them.

Anyway, Paris! What a dream for Lauren Conrad. A total fairy tale. But seriously, she can be one ditzy princess. Repeat after me, LC: Always stick to your itinerary, never leave hot curling irons near fancy dresses, and don't ever believe that a smoke-filled French night club requires you wear a whip-stitched zillion dollar ball gown to meet the dress code. Divello, did you have to foot the bill for the ruined first dress? Bummer with the exchange rate, I bet. Besides that, Lauren looked great last night. Losing those six pounds has really made a world of difference for her. Did you ask her to do that? If you did, totally good call.

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