Today's New York Observer takes a look at "buff nerds," those formerly "concave-chested proto-geeks" who are "suddenly super-cut, ripped, pumped." Coming a mere seven days after the same news organization's discovery of "urbane tomboys"—"gals who, while not lesbians, dress like guys (young guys), well into their 30's; who leap into games of pickup basketball with male friends while the rest of us watch wanly from the sidelines; who affect a wry detachment from their sex's conventional concerns of shoe-shopping, man-hunting and family," etc.—one can only wonder what fanciful new tribes the pink paper will next discover in its continuing quest to corner the market on dubious trend pieces.

A few predictions:

• Punky Brewsters: "Today's barista is a different breed. While perfectly happy to help you select the latte that's right for you, these java jerks are laughing at you on the inside because you're not punk rock enough. Say hello to the Fugazi frappucinists."

• Latin Kings: "When the Nominatives squared off with the Vocatives in Prospect Park last weekend it wasn't your average gang war. No, this battle (if you can call Saturday's big "Declension Olympics" a battle) shone a light on hipster Brooklyn's newest hobby: competitions in ancient Roman vernacular. Will Kings County ever be the same?

• Schlubby Stubbies: "If you've been paying attention, you've noticed it seemingly everywhere you look in the city: Amputees are starting to dress down. Way down."

• Spicy Meatballs: "It wasn't until Elizabeth and Stephen Forrester were dropping their daughter Sutton off at summer camp that they finally realized the whispers they'd been hearing from their friends were absolutely true: a surprising number of sleep-away counselors these days are Hispanic."

• Indie Cocks: "While once solely the preserve of the well-heeled, the game of badminton has undergone some serious changes. Today's player is less likely to wear whites—unless we're talking about iPhone earbuds—and more likely to show up, racket in hand, decked out in a Band of Horses tee."

• Black Chicks: "There's a lot more African American women out there today. What's the deal with that?"