WRITING WRONGS Bartiromo

• Ladywad: Sources tell the New York Observer CNBC "Money Honey" (Cash Gash if you're nasty) Maria Bartiromo scored a $500,000 book deal with Crown. It's no $5 mil, but then again Todd Thomson doesn't own Crown.

• Predatory produce: As if young American fatties weren't already fearful enough of fruits and vegetables, there's an Attack of the Killer Tomatoes remake in the works.

• Granny got ganja: The 69-year-old actress who played Mary Anne on Gilligan's Island is busted for driving around with a backseat full of Mary Jane.

• Consider this his Obama endorsement: Hammerpanted funnyman Sinbad says presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton's near-death experience in bullet-riddled Bosnia is bullshit.

• What a steal: What better way to advertise your failing hedge fund than to buy an ad spot on the cutting edge Fox Business Network? Especially now that it's so affordable.

• Micro machines: Scientists have created a tiny chemical brain that can follow orders and command swarms of nano-machines. Delete "follow orders" from that sentence, add in a dash of Keanu, and you got yourself a Matrix prequel.

• Spitzer Won't Quit Unless He Gets Off
• Should You Be Injecting Vitamin B-12 Into Your Ass?

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