• Paid: As Radar first reported, Eliot Spitzer's possibly 32-year-old lady of the night, Ashley Alexandra Dupré (aka "Kristen") has some lucrative options for making rent on her fancy Flatiron pad. Playboy and Penthouse are interested in photo shoots with America's Whore, and her Amie Street tracks have been downloaded over two million times. Her literary options are slightly less promising. Book publishers aren't sure if Kristen's or wifey Silda's story would make for a more lucrative book deal.

• Ordering a hit: CBS CEO Les Moonves calls Fox's ratings powerhouse, American Idol, a "monster" and pleads for someone to "kill that show."

• Balance transfers: In what could be one of the greatest political frauds in recent history (and god knows, we've had plenty), GOP officials say Christopher J. Ward, former treasurer for the National Republican Congressional Committee, may have diverted as much as $1 million of the committee's funds into his personal accounts. What, no hookers?

WAIT, THERE'S MORE: Be Paris's new best friend, Neverland saved, and free virus with purchase!

• More than friends: MTV has green-lighted a new reality series called Paris Hilton's My New BFF, where contestants will compete to see who's most worthy of the publicity whore-ress's friendship. The winner gets shot in the head to end his misery.

• Infected Pods: It's war. First, the Chinese factories made lead-paint toys for children. Now, they've messed with adult toys, putting pre-installed viruses on iPods, digital frames, and other gadgets.

• Neverland 4everland: Foreclosure crisis averted. Michael Jackson has saved Neverland Ranch from the auction block with a "confidential" refinancing plan (he sold his nose) on his $24.5 million mortgage.

• Mr. Taxman: Barack Obama accuses John McCain of flip-flopping on his tax stance to help score the nomination. But what of the whores?