Wait a second. Did female children somehow become imminently more annoying during the last decade? Today's New York Times has a report on the absurd "primping parties" parents are hosting for their elementary school-aged girls, complete with "Virgin Cosmos" and Hannah Montana makeovers. First we were struck by a plague of three-year-old "princesses," having "princess parties" and spending a cool $3 billion dollars on "Disney Princess" items last year alone. Now, for the marginally older girls, of say, six, it's apparently all about the Hannah Montana wigs and MAC Barbie makeup, until, that is, they get old enough to have their froth-ridden Super Sweet Sixteen complete with a "grand entrance" and "invitation ceremony."

To which we say, just stop it! At this rate, come 2030, every woman in America is going to be like one of those perma-tanned, lip-glossed poodle teens on The Real Housewives of Orange County, and that, dear friends, is a spectre just about as scary as a nuclear war-ready Iran.

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