STALKER BECOMES THE STALKED Ghalib

The boyfriend who's weathered apparent bipolar disorder, a secret Mexico marriage, and, um, a wife to stick with Britney through thick and thin apparently took a swipe at a fellow pap. Weird how annoying it is to be on the other side of the camera. Then, in a display not quite captured by the word "hypocrisy," Ghalib lectures his fellow lensmen on the way they make their living ("Surely you guys can find a better way to make your money.")

Britney's master plan is now clear: She's going to date each member of the paparazzi, turning them one by one into the very subjects of their own stalking until there's just a big scrum of people roaming around the streets of Hollywood sticking cameras in each others' faces, asking inane questions of each other, not a legitimate celebrity among them.