RUBBED THE WRONG WAY Epstein

Another Wednesday, another lawsuit against tacky pervert billionaire Jeffrey Epstein filed by a poor (in both senses of the word) young girl.

Last we checked in with the Palm Beach resident, a 14-year-old "Jane Doe" had just slapped him with a $50 million civil suit for coercing her into giving him the type of massage you can't exactly get at your local spa. The details this time around are pretty much the same—frighteningly young girls, full-contact rubdowns, the works—though this time, the alleged victim was a comparatively matronly 16 years old. Baby steps!

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