MEET THE MISSUS Cindy

• Desperate times, desperate measures: South Korean soccer players dislocate shoulders to avoid the battlefield.

• Rove, in the red: Karl Rove joins "the fair and balanced" news station. Maybe we should have put "joins" in quotes there.

• Overboard: Joran
van der Sloot admits dumping Natalee Holloway's body into the ocean, but claims no wrongdoing. Okay!

• Id vaz a tumoor: Twins pull double-duty in saving mother's life from the inside out. Heartwarming, sure, but that headline is a little, uh, obvious?