• The end of never: Michael Jackson has until March 19 to pay off the nearly $25 million he owes or else Neverland Ranch will be sold at a foreclosure auction. Future tenants will get the merry-go-round, but no word yet on the pet monkeys or child-porn stash.

• Gloves off: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama didn't play nice in last night's surprisingly entertaining Ohio debates. Hot topics included NAFTA, that dude who will replace Russian President Vladimir Putin (whose name we can't pronounce), and Hillary's health-care plan being way different from Barack's.

• Jurisprudence: A federal judge sends Britney's conservatorship case back to state court—where it so obviously belongs.

PLUS: A future-Bushie bachelor party; the EU sticks it to Microsoft; Mischa Barton and the weed; and important whiskey news!

• On the ropes: Henry Hager, the future Mr. Jenna Bush, had some trouble with the velvet ropes at his bachelor party in South Beach.

• Bad exchange: The euro reaches a record high of $1.5057. Your study abroad plans are totally screwed.

• Sharing is caring: The EU fines Microsoft 899 million euros after the company failed to comply with demands that it share more information. Bill Gates laments the current exchange rate.

• Perfectly aged: Jimmy Bedford, the master distiller of Jack Daniel's whiskey, retires after 40 years of distilling for the man.

• Up in smoke: In connection with her late December arrest, Mischa Barton was charged with driving under the influence, possession of 28.5 grams of marijuana, and being an unlicensed driver. Wasn't this covered on a "very special" episode of The OC?

• If she could turn back time: Pamela Anderson files for an annulment to end her two-month marriage to sex taper Rick Salomon. Maybe she should have listened to those screaming pre-wedding jitters she had.