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Ex-Boyfriend: Don't Blame Jessica for Banging Quarterback Silly

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FATAL DISTRACTION Jessica, Tony (inset)
In the wake of Sunday's stunning loss to the New York Giants, Dallas Cowboy fans have been searching for someone to blame for the crushing defeat, and have settled on Jessica Simpson. Simpson's crime? Distracting Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo with her nubile temptress body. (Romo, to the derision of many fans, spent the week before the game vacationing with Simpson in Cabo San Lucas—time that victory-starved Cowboys fans think he should have spent preparing for the game.) As the mockery and scorn mounts, who will defend the beleaguered young starlet?

Step forward John Mayer, purveyor of radio-friendly soft rock and former Simpson paramour. In a post on his blog (oh, yeah, he has a blog), Mayer implores the Cowboys faithful to redirect their ire:

I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don't really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I'm betting emotions are running high right about now.

All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It's one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don't try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn't be able to, but it's less work for all involved.)

Awww! So sweet! We totally forgive her. Also? We really hate the Patriots and are wondering if Simpson could start dating Tom Brady, like, right now.

But, should she be blamed for Dane Cook and GOOD LUCK CHUCK?

Posted by: Hailey Eber on January 16, 2008 3:03 PM

can john mayer even burp without sounding creepy?

Posted by: slinkimalinki on January 16, 2008 4:24 PM

I'm distracted. Nice hangers

Posted by: mrgrogro on January 16, 2008 8:00 PM

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