Since the writers' strike killed the Golden Globes and the WGA awards, organizers for the 80th Academy Awards have been struggling to keep its kudo-fest afloat. Enter Academy board member Tom Hanks with his unique brand of folksy, white-bread diplomacy. "The show must go on," Hanks brayed cleverly at the London premier of Charlie Wilson's War. "There are a lot of people out there associated with the industry, for whom the sooner this work stoppage is over the better. I just hope that the big guys who make big decisions up high in their corporate boardrooms and whatnot get down to honest bargaining and everyone can get back to work." Check please!

While the show has never been canceled, it was postponed three times: once in 1938 due to floods, again in 1968 when Martin Luther King, Jr., was killed, and in 1981 after President Reagan was shot.

"The major change from last year is that in a normal year, we'd have assembled a staff of writers, and they would have been working on the show for more than a month," said Bruce Davis, executive director of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. But veteran Oscars producer Gil Cates remains confident: "The show is going on. I'm looking forward to it. We're on schedule and, Hallelujah, I can't wait until the 24th."

Jon Stewart, that seemingly bottomless well of guilt and contradiction, will again cross the picket line and host—should the event actually proceed.

Sure, fine. But what about the parties? Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter does not expect to downgrade the mag's annual bash from high-dollar nosh to dough-wrapped weenies, cheap cheese on Ritz, and room-temp Beringer Pinot Grigio. "All I can say is that, at this point, we're cautiously optimistic and going forward as planned," said a VF spokesman. No word on Elaine's annual bash, either, or whether its usual buff models in gold body paint will be replaced with schlubby Fallstaffian stand ins.

Look on the bright side, imagine an awards season wholly free of Hollywood's self-congratulatory white noise. Dare to dream.