WACKO-BAIT Hicks

One of the more remarkable aspects of the American Idol phenomenon is the slavish devotion the show's marginally talented finalists manage to inspire among the sad segment of American society so desperate for a celebrity to worship that they'll happily latch on to someone whose fame has been bestowed upon them by a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than dial a number 6,000 times to make sure some plucky melismatic makes it through to the next round. Those crazy pathetic ladies who are so protective of Clay Aiken, the wacky Sanjayanistas ... it's a disturbing glimpse into the psyche of this country. Perhaps most shocking is the legion of fans who have chosen Taylor Hicks as their not-so-secret masturbation fantasy.

Last week, we posted an item suggesting that Hicks might have tried to conceal the identity of a woman enjoying his favors; as of now there are 415 comments, many from the brigade of angry Hicks devotees hell-bent on defending their hero's good name. Which poses the question: How do you get to a place in your life where you're spending your time on the Internet in support of a game-show winner who makes Michael Bolton look edgy? There's a whole world out there, people; open your door and go look.

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