RINGLEADERS Norris, Huckabee, Flair (Photos: Jonathan Jordan)

Less than 48 hours before the South Carolina Republican primary, former pastor/Arkansas governor/fatty Mike Huckabee made a brief appearance at a Clemson University rally Thursday, one of seven campaign events scheduled throughout the state. Huckabee took the opportunity to announce his future cabinet members, hence to be referred to as "Smith & Wesson," with full-time side-kicker Chuck Norris as Secretary of Defense, and 16-time World Wrestling Federation Champion Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair as Director of Homeland Security. (Fellow washed-up celebrity endorser The Nuge reportedly had a scheduling conflict.)

Radar offers a round-up of the event, á la Chuck Norris Facts, for your Friday afternoon convenience:

• YouTube Deluged With Cruise Spoofs
• UK Lady Cops Dressing "Like Simon Cowell"

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