Veiny superstar Madonna's serious Kabbalah water habit runs her about $10,000 a month, according to In Touch. The tab says Madge is exclusive to Kabbalah water and goes so far as to ship cartons to herself when she's off photo-op-ing in faraway lands. On its surface, this is just Madge being the excessive weirdo that we all love, but just below that surface it is yet another example of her ever-growing hypocrisy in the face of supposed environmental stewardship.

In terms of environmental scourges, bottled water is the new SUV, and in those terms Madonna's rolling in a five-Escalade cavalcade every single day. A bottle of her special blessed water—which has "miraculous powers of restoration and healing"—runs $5 a bottle, meaning Madge and her clan slurp their way through 2,000 bottles per month to spend that 10 grand. That's 24,000 bottles of water a year—meaning 24,000 empties she's sprinkling around the world ... and presumably thousands in countries without recycling plants. But, oh, the sacred hydration!