Late-night TV was back in kinda-sorta full force this week with the return of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert amid the writers' strike. In case you hadn't heard, David Letterman has his writers while everyone else is winging it, making them more dependent on their guests than ever.

As a service to those of you not brave or strong enough to watch for yourselves, Radar offers this handy breakdown of this week in late-night guests to see just who is best surviving and thriving in these difficult times. To be fair to our shorter-showed basic-cable competitors, we have not counted musical guests or Friday episodes as part of the competition.

MONDAY
David Letterman: Tom Hanks (actor who used to be in good movies), Mike Huckabee (bass guitarist)
Craig Ferguson: RZA (Wu-Tang Clan chief), Greg Proops (a comic or something)
Jay Leno: Ron Paul (possibly autistic, racialist Libertarian candidate), Christopher Titus (actor/comedian dude)
Conan O'Brien: Hulk Hogan (American Gladiator, Rosie hater, "actor," VH-1 reality leech, former wrestler), Regina Hall (chick from the Scary Movie flicks)
Jimmy Kimmel: Kathy Griffin (New Radical), Scott Baio (reality shows be damned, to us he'll always just be Charles in Charge)
Jon Stewart: Ronald Seeber (professor of labor relations at Cornell)
Stephen Colbert: Andrew Sullivan (Libertarian commentator, Obama fanboy)
Winner for the Night:
We're so over Tom Hanks. We saw Huckabee on Leno last week. We're going to have give it to Andrew Sullivan and The Colbert Report for being part of the Obama conspiracy. But honorary mention goes to Kimmel's pop-tacular lineup.

TUESDAY
David Letterman: Lucy Liu (actress, Cashmere Mafia don), Alex Roy (author of The Driver: My Dangerous Pursuit of Speed and Truth in the Outlaw Racing World)
Craig Ferguson: Marion Cotillard (actress from La Vie En Rose that everyone's all wet over this year), Dr. Kevin from Animal Planet
Jay Leno: Pamela Anderson (fun bags), Mary J. Blige (diva)
Conan O'Brien: Donald Trump (money bags), Irina Markova and her performing dogs
Jimmy Kimmel: Jay Thomas (actor), Ivana Trump (Zsa Zsa protégé)
Jon Stewart: David Frum (comeback conservative)
Stephen Colbert: Chris Beam (baby-faced Slate political reporter), Gary Rosen (neocon editor of Commentary magazine)
Winner for the Night:
Hmmm. Cashmere Mafia will likely be our new guilty pleasure now that Gossip Girl's on hiatus. But Pam Anderson had a big week, with both an on-again, off-again divorce and pregnancy. We're also really intrigued by this performing dog. Okay, we'll give it to Leno.

WEDNESDAY
David Letterman: Morgan Freeman (The Bucket List), Tom Brokaw (pro talker)
Craig Ferguson: Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild hottie) , Wolfgang Puck (gourmet chef and restaurateur, frozen pizza and canned soup master)
Jay Leno: Jules Sylvester (celebrity animal trainer, reptile expert!) and reptiles, Maria Bartiromo (CNBC anchor who gives good face)
Conan O'Brien: Ice Cube (ex NWA), Dr. Drew Pinsky (Dr. Phil antidote)
Jimmy Kimmel: Slash (Guns N' Roses guitarist, memoirist, badass), Santeri Ojala (YouTube guitar hero)
Jon Stewart: John Zogby (pollster who was just a wee bit off on the NH primaries)
Stephen Colbert: Matt Taibbi (almost hunky Rolling Stone writer, pundit), Gov. Mike Huckabee (who's starting to maybe work the late-night scene a bit too hard at this point)
Winner for the Night:
This is a deceptive one. You'd think Letterman is an easy winner, but we have to take a firm political stance against The Bucket List and what's become of Morgan Freeman's career. Emile Hirsch is pretty tasty, as is Wolfgang's cooking. Who the hell are these people on Jay Leno? We'll give it to Stewart for a timely chat following the New Hampshire surprises.

THURSDAY
David Letterman: Howard Stern (subversively gay-friendly radio personality)
Craig Ferguson: Val Kilmer (Ice Man), Michael Gates Gill (Starbucks saved his life, got him a book deal)
Jay Leno: Jimmy Kimmel (Sarah Silverman boy toy), Elon Gold (comedian)
Conan O'Brien: Howie Mandel (annoying Canadian), Leigh Killian (NFL cheerleader, probation officer)
Jimmy Kimmel: Jay Leno (see, they switched—how cute!), Hannah Teter (snowboarder womyn)
Jon Stewart: Lou Dobbs (prick, promoting his latest: Independents Day: Awakening the American Spirit)
Stephen Colbert: Norm Ornstein (The Broken Branch), Muhammad Yunus (inventor of the micro-loan, author of Creating a World Without Poverty)
Winner for the Night:
Letterman takes it, no contest, by virtue of the Stern rule. Deductions given to Leno and Kimmel for a cheesy move.

GRAND PRIZE WEEKLY WINNER!!!
Letterman wins the week, recovering nicely from his first post-strike guest, Robin Williams. Being WGA-friendly looks to be paying off for Dave, as he scores a number of high-profile guests. Leno, by comparison, is getting desperate, relying on Kimmel and reptiles to get through the week. Same difference.