The hacks at the Daily Mail have been salivating for weeks! Imagine the chance to photograph an aging model, sloppily drunk, from unattractive angles at extreme close-up. For the tabloid, Kate Moss's birthday extravaganza is like Christmas, Passover, and Halloween, all in one precious day, and, er, night.

Moss clearly adores a themed party, having rung in her fourth decade with a party at Claridge's Hotel, where guests dressed as characters from the appropriately named The Beautiful and the Damned. If a theme for last night's festivities can be discerned from her guests' freaky disco duds, it would seem to have been an homage to Earth Wind and Fire's greatest hits. Kate herself wore a black-and-gold metallic jumpsuit with a floor-length chiffon coat—by Chanel, natch—accessorizing it with a giant painted gold star over one eye. Her minions arrived in various states of dissheveled '70s gear, but it's hard to tell if these were indeed costumes or if this is what London hipsters are wearing these days.

According to frenemies of the model, Moss hoped to toast her 34th birthday with a raging 34-hour bender, as you do. Her gang, including Meg Matthews, Davinia Taylor, and Kelly Osborne, assembled at the Dorchester Hotel for a cream tea and spa treatments with Moss's five-year-old daughter, Lila Grace Hack, at 2:30 yesterday afternoon, and by all reports are still partying on at their private suite.

British scandal-mongers were intrigued most of all by the no-shows, desperately wishing to nail down a feud between the model and her ertswhile chums Sienna Miller, Rhys Ifans, Sadie Frost, and Stella McCartney, some of whom were said to be worried about Kate's out-of-control lifestyle. Chances are, they probably just couldn't hold her pace quite like an Osborne spawn.