The ladies over at Jezebel—and honorary Jezzie Alex Goldberg—aren't afraid of showing a little skin. In fact, they're brave enough to document pouring their fair and bruised flesh [Ed. Note: Unless Traci "Slut Machine" Egan is secretly on some womens' field hockey team, she has some explaining to do] into some of American Apparel's most offensive, unflattering outfits—all for our benefit (read: amusement).

Behold, the cut-away unitards! The lamé tube dresses! Tights in colors combinations rarely found outside a Wes Anderson movie! Their discovery proves what most of us already knew in our hearts: American Apparel clothes only look good on spread-eagled 14-year-olds with desperation in their eyes.