TALK TO HER Tionna

Hey Tionna,

I don't usually ask for advice on these kinds of things because, hell, I just don't care all that much, but something's been bugging me the last couple weeks and I was wondering if you could help me out.

There's this guy at work who does the same job that I do. Now, sure, he's been here a few years more than I have, and, yeah, he's been a little more successful than me, but that don't bother me much. Still, as the end of our company's fiscal year is approaching, I'm starting to hear more comparisons between the two of us: They say the other fella's more focused, he's more intense, he dates prettier women.

I could give a rip about the first two; hell, they may be true. But I don't get the big deal about the third one. I mean, sure, I'm still with the gal I met in college. Big whoop. Does that somehow make me less of a man 'cause you don't see me impregnating actresses or sleeping with pretty Kraut models?

I should also mention that I get a lot of criticism for the way I do my job. Part of it is because both my daddy and my brother also worked in the industry, and people hold me to the standards they've established. To be honest, I don't pay that any mind, but sometimes I do feel like I never wanted to do this job in the first place but I got pushed into it because of everyone else's expectations and now everyone's looking to me and hoping that I screw up so I can prove whatever jackass theories they have about my guts and intensity and I swear sometimes it just makes me want to grab the world by the throat and KEEP CHOKING IT UNTIL IT FALLS TO THE GROUND IN A GIANT HEAP OF SORRY.

Anyways, like I told you before, none of this stuff keeps me up nights. But if you've got any theories or stuff you want to share, I'm all ears. Big ones.

Thank you, ma'am,
No Worries

Dear No Worries,

I think it is a very good thing that you don't worry about the critics at your job or in general. What I've come to realize over the years is that people are always going to talk regardless of whether you are doing good or bad. As far as your coworker doing a better job than you and being more focused, it's okay; there's always someone better than you. What I advise you to do is step your game up. His intensity should really make you go harder than you ever went.

I think that what people are saying about your love life is so goddamn wrong. In my opinion, you are a better man than he is because any man could dick a lot of chicks down, but it takes a real man to do it over and over again to just one woman. I think inside he envies that same fact about you, because, believe it or not, everyone wants to experience love; even men.

Now let's get down to the real nitty gritty about how you don't know if you wanted to be in the field in the first place. I know you probably got pressured from your family to be in the business when you were young, but now you are a grown-ass man who could make decisions for yourself. I don't ever advise you to stay in a field because your brother and father did it. Please, it is different strokes for different folks. You can't be unhappy trying to make others happy and that's how it sounds to me. I think with all the stress you have incurred lately, it is time for you to possibly look into a new career—something that will make you happy. But if you do remain doing what you do, make damn sure you ignore the haters. When they stop talking about you, that's when you have a problem. Keep me posted, and if you need a job, I will put in a good word for you at Radar, lol.

Your Favorite Advice Columnist,

Tionna Smalls