Hillary Clinton's campaign surrogates have taken to the airwaves today to defend hubby Bill's remarks on Jesse Jackson, minimize the importance of her loss in South Carolina, and point out that some Kennedys like her, too. Luckily for us, one of those surrogates is apparently a little peeved with her, and passed along the official campaign talking points to some people who weren't exactly surrogates ...

Their Advice: On the now-infamous Clinton remarks in which he appeared to minimize Obama's win in South Carolina by noting that Jesse Jackson won that state, the campaign suggests that people talk about Bill Clinton's record on race relations. For instance, when Florida congressman and Clinton-endorser Kendrick Meek defended him this morning on MSNBC, he noted that Clinton had given Jackson a medal, so it's all good.
Our Advice: Blush, stammer, and talk about Bill's black friends, unless you're black and then just wince and say their talking points through your teeth. Either way, it's pretty obvious what he was doing and you might as well just wait it out until someone (hopefully, in Obama's camp) screws up worse.

Their Advice: If asked about the Kennedy endorsement, note that other, lesser-known Kennedys support Hillary and say that it's up to voters.
Our Advice: Oh, Christ, not even Maryland voters give a crap who Kathleen Kennedy Townsend endorses—she's at some union conference in California today because no one in Maryland cares. Just be like, "Oh, well, I guess all those voters in Massachusetts and Rhode Island will have to think harder now about which of two great Democrats should be the next president." It sounds classy rather than like a desperate comparison.

Their Advice: When asked why Clinton's in Florida after promising not to campaign there because of the primary timing dust-up, just say that she's the only one who's kept her word, even if that sounds like a bald-faced lie because the only evidence is that Obama can't take his national ads off the air in Florida markets.
Our Advice: Nobody cared in Michigan, why would they start now? The whole thing was an annoying pissing contest. Point out that the Republicans in Florida did it knowing full well the DNC would pull Florida's delegates and that you're not going to ignore 18 million people because of Republican shenanigans.

Their Advice: When asked about Super Tuesday "momentum," start talking about Hillary's position on the issues.
Our Advice: Yawn. You know, when Rudy Giuliani pooh-poohed "momentum," people thought he sounded good for two seconds until he was losing. But you're not exactly losing. Pooh-pooh momentum, talk about how voters aren't lemmings, they're smart and they'll decide, etc. Basically, kiss people's asses and leave the issue talk to forums where people actually care.