Are you a flat-chested woman looking to make a little scratch on the side in Britain? The high-risk, high-reward field of drug trafficking just may be for you! Customs officials on the other side of the Pond are on the lookout for curvy drug mules after customs officers arrested a woman for attempting to smuggle £50,000 worth of cocaine in concealed pouches built into her bra. Criminals are now being said to favor "tall, flat-chested women who don't arouse [Ed: heh] suspicion when they have fuller figures." And who said having small breasts put you at a disadvantage when applying for jobs?

Other tactics commonly employed in Britain include smuggling blow in hollowed-out coat hangers and shoe soles; dissolving cocaine into water, soaking it into clothing, and rinsing it out later; dissolving bindles into a solution and putting it into juice containers; carefully packing it into buttons; and the all-time standby—swallowing plastic packets of the Bolivian marching powder and praying to God that none burst in your stomach mid-flight.

Most of the traffickers attempting to get into Britain hail from West Africa, particularly Ghana. To be fair, says a British customs spokesperson, the Ghanian government has cracked down on smugglers after recognizing the scope of the problem and deciding the country "didn't want to end up with the reputation of Jamaica." We always assumed they were more into peaceful pot-smoking there.