Admitted youthful drug user Barack Obama has all but sewn up the South Carolina student stoner vote. Don't believe us? If Obama campaign mainstay and Harold and Kumar star Kal Penn's brief South Carolina appearance didn't do it, motormouthed comedian Chris Tucker's appearance at Clemson University Wednesday sealed the deal. And Tucker made it known he's got a vice presidency on his mind as payment.

At the relatively press-free, 300-person event, the Friday star and Fantastic Four actress Kerry Washington worked the room as an advance team for Obama, who is scheduled to speak at Clemson on, you guessed it, Friday. The last-minute appearance was held, by accident or design, at Tillman Hall Auditorium, named for Clemson cofounder and all-around white supremacist "Pitchfork" Ben Tillman. You know, the former governor of South Carolina responsible for such gems as, "We of the South have never recognized the right of the Negro to govern white men, and we never will. We have never believed him to be the equal of the white man, and we will not submit to his gratifying his lust on our wives and daughters without lynching him." Yeah, Tillman woulda hated Barack Obama.

Washington introduced Tucker, who had himself scripted the bit: "One of the finest men I've ever met. He has dreamy eyes—is that right?" "That's right," confirmed an unmistakable voice from behind the curtain. "He's debonair, suave, sophisticated; an absolutely fabulous human being whose body of work can be summed up in one word: AMAZING. Chris Tucker!" And Tucker didn't disappoint. Bouncing onto the stage to the shrieks of the young, predominantly African American audience, Tucker announced that he hadn't changed clothes in three days—"I feel like Barack"—before launching into a one-sentence impersonation of the senator from Illinois. "Hillary, you trippin'!"

So why is Chris Tucker stumping for Obama? Citing inner cities, education, and crime, he admitted, "I have a little money now. I don't want anyone robbing me. I want people to have jobs!" The star also spoke of a new vision and hope, but once he and Washington started taking questions from the crowd, the truth was revealed. Asked by a student what was the one issue that clinched his support for Barack, Tucker announced, "I just want to be vice president."

There is no word yet if Tucker will enlist the martial artistry of Rush House costar Jackie Chan as secretary of defense. Or, better, if Chan will step in the ring against Mike Huckabee's prize-puncher Chuck Norris in a presidential fight to the finish.