Traitorous Hall of Fame–bound pitchers aren't the only ones facing accusations of steroid use. Yesterday, the Albany Times Union reported that four R&B/rap stars—Mary J. Blige, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Wyclef Jean, and Timothy "Timbaland" Mozley—and one actor, House of Payne star Tyler Perry (seriously?!)—joined New York Yankee Roger Clemens and the other 87 baseball players fingered in the Mitchell Report as alleged users of performance-enhancing drugs.

Law enforcement agents claim that they have no evidence that Blige and the other entertainers broke any laws, but the "Queen of Hip-Hop Soul" seemingly knew that she wasn't exactly buying flaxseed oil: She had shipments of HGH and anabolic steroids mailed to her under the name "Marlo Stanfield," the character name of drug kingpin on HBO's The Wire. 50 Cent was less obvious but equally evasive, using the name "Michael Jordan" when signing for packages.

50, mind you, netted $100 million after cashing in his 10 percent stake on a more legal alleged performance-enhancer—Vitamin Water. He claims to have acquired a taste for the flavored beverage while "in a gym in Los Angeles," and has referred to himself as the "Air Jordan of Vitamin Water." We always knew that stuff didn't do shit.