GOING GREEN McKinney (Photo: Getty Images)
So you're interested in a third-party presidential candidate, but a Jewish midget isn't quite what you're into? Perhaps we can interest you in this crazy lady? Starting this week, Cynthia McKinney is running for president on the Green Party ticket. She brings to the race some qualities you just might like ...

First of all, she's experienced, having served as a Democratic congresswoman for 12 years. Secondly, she takes little, if no, shit—if a cop starts hassling her, she will punch him. And thirdly, she maintains a healthy distrust of all the Jews, especially the ones who keep trying to destroy her.

In announcing her run, McKinney called the Green Party "my new political home," and focused on ending corruption and the war in Iraq, leaving in question the degree to which her crusade to solve Tupac's murder will play a role in her campaign message. The Green Party will select its nominee next summer; her opponents for the nomination include a hip-hop scholar, a former leader of the Black Panthers, and, possibly, Ralph Nader.