JAMIE'S CRYIN' Spears(Photo: Getty Images)

• Knocked Up, for Kids: Nickelodeon is said to be considering a special on sex and love, following the oven-bunning of its Zoey 101 star Jamie-Lynn Spears. Judd Apatow directs?

• Protect and serve: Mel "Sugartits" Gibson got sweet treatment from the L.A. County Sheriff's Department after getting busted for a DUI and going on that now-infamous anti-Semitic tirade. Cops failed to take his palm print and drove him back to his car, and a supervisor considered withholding details from his arrest report until being overruled by a captain. Another investigation of the same department found no violations in the Paris Hilton arrest, however.

• Media whore: Fresh off his new 90-minute video made available this week, Al Qaeda's No. 2, Ayman al-Zawahiri, strengthens his Q-rating by seeking online queries from journalists.

• Video game violence: Two teens are charged with killing one of their 7-year-old sisters using Mortal Kombat moves. The elder suspect's defense: "I was drunk."

• Juicy jurisprudence: Judge Judy re-ups through 2013 for what is anticipated to be well over $32 million a year.

• Colbert, Stewart: Writers Be Damned
• Is Bonnie Fuller Full of Self-Hatred?

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