Just how big is News Corp. overlord Rupert Murdoch's swinging dick? PRETTY DAMN HUGE, according to an ad in today's New York Post, titled, "Defying conventional wisdom for six decades." (It's on pages 16 and 17 of the Post; we couldn't scan it, because the ad itself, like Rupert's metaphoric phallus, is also pretty damn huge!). The two-page spread, which is actually one of the more effective print ads we've seen in quite some time, chronicles the ascendancy of Rupe from small-time Australian newspaper baron to the leader of a global media business "made up of 53,000 passionate individuals with revenues of US $30 billion reaching an audience of nearly one billion people, every day." (We know some of those 53,000 and wouldn't necessarily describe them as "passionate," but they are, in fact, individuals.)

According to the ad, Murdoch, lest you've forgotten, saved The Sunday Times in Perth! He took the New York Post "from bankruptcy to New York's most beloved paper!" He turned scrappy upstart FOX into a ratings leader! He presided over the premiere of The Simpsons! He turned two coupon companies into a marketing group called News America Marketing, which we've never heard of, but is evidently worth a billion dollars! He owns HarperCollins! He owns "Europe's most valuable TV company, Sky!" He owns MySpace! (The users of which, the ad says, "would make up the 11th largest country in the world." We're pretty sure that's not true if you count active users, but neat!) In fact, after you finish reading this, there is a very good chance that Rupert Murdoch will also own you!

Of course, the New York Post isn't the only place Rupert is boasting about his business acumen. Today, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times all ran three-page ads touting his takeover of the Journal. Given that a full page in each costs $142,000, $101,682, and $46,000, respectively, and that the average newsroom salary for a reporter, special writer, or senior special writer at the Journal is $125,000, the opportunity cost of Rupert's public dick waving is only the salary of six or seven potential employees!

Our favorite bit, though, can be found at the very end of the New York Post spot, where Rupert issues a statement to all the naysayers who claim that the Wall Street Journal will never be the same: "Exactly. And that's a promise." That is not necessarily a promise many of those at the Journal are hoping he keeps.