Just how bad is Jessica Simpson's latest cinematic effort, Blonde Ambition? Let us count the ways! On opening day this past Friday, the movie debuted on eight screens in Texas and grossed less than $400. That means each theater showing the Simpson-Luke Wilson vehicle took in around $50. Assuming the cost of a ticket is $8, we can deduce that approximately six individuals per theater ponied up the cash to see Blonde Ambition, for a total of 48 people. According to the 2006 census, the population of Texas is 23,507,783. In other words, .0000204188 of 1 percent of Texas state residents made the trek to their local multiplex to see the film.

And with good reason! The solitary review of the flick on rottentomatoes.com contends that "it doesn't just belong on a Worst 2007 list or even a worst of the Decade list, but high amongst the Worst Movies Ever Made." Thankfully, theater-goers will be spared in the future: execs have already preemptively scheduled Simpson's next flick, Major Movie Star (tagline: "The Few. The Proud. The Blonde") for a straight-to-DVD release.