KNOCKED UP, KNOCKED DOWN Spears, Wilson (inset)

It could be a hell of a lot worse, anyway. Just ask Genarlow Wilson, an African American honor student, who, at 17, got a consensual BJ from a 15-year-old during a motel room party. Wilson was convicted of aggravated child molestation and had to lobby the legislature and courts to avoid a decade in prison and a spot on the national sex offenders registry.

Zoey 101 star Jamie Lynn, the youngest sibling of Britney, not only got freak nasty with Casey Aldridge, the 19-year-old son of a Cleveland, Tennessee, paper mill worker she's been dating since she was 14—she got pregnant. The response? A comforting hug from her employer Nickelodeon, the cover of OK! magazine, and a portrayal of the events framed in the soft light of an after-school special.

The greatest fallout for Jamie Lynn will be foregoing young Hollywood rights of passage such as under-age drinks at Chateau Marmont, extreme weight loss, and rehab (actually, that one could still happen). Not that it's all shower gifts and designer maternity wear. She's already getting shredded on PerezHilton.com, and our money's on paps agency X17 scoring the first pantyless crotch shot of a pregnant underage teen, probably getting out of a Maybach at Starbucks.

This isn't a cake walk for mother, Lynne, either, who tells OK! "I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never late for her curfew." Lynne is now having to delay her parenting book to help her baby raise a baby.

Repeat: The woman who passed on her maternal instincts to K-Fed-inseminated child custody-challenged daughter Britney will have to delay a parenting book.

Meanwhile, Britney found out the news amid another night of multiple wardrobe changes and hotel hopping and later released the following boilerplate statement to E!: "Britney is aware of the news regarding Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. She wishes her sister nothing but the best and asks for privacy during this time."

Unless you're promising the cover.