GOT YA DICTATOR RIGHT HERE! Chavez (Photo Getty Images)
In a frenzied quest for a lifetime dictatorship, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called the Catholic Church "mentally retarded," accused CNN of plotting his assassination, blamed his political enemies for a national toilet paper shortage, and threatened to kill his ex-wife for publicly opposing him. And, somehow, it didn't work. Chavez narrowly lost yesterday's national referendum on proposed constitutional changes that would have significantly expanded his presidential powers and eliminated the term limits that currently prevent him from running for another term as president.

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