BAG O' TOYS Becksie Claus
• Athletic support: David Beckham dons man panties, shows his amply stuffed stocking in new ads for Emporio Armani undies.

• Talk is cheap: Vanity Fair columnist Michael Wolff talks fondly of sex crimes richie-rich Jeffrey Epstein in a New York story. Jets! Food! Servants! The rape of girls as young as 14! What a character, that Jeffrey!

• Flashback: Campaigning for his wife in Iowa, Bill Clinton tells a crowd that when they were first dating, he was so struck by Hillary's intellect and ability he suggested she dump him and get her own political career. Hillary responded: "First I love you and, second, I'm not going to run for anything, I'm too hardheaded."

• Child's play: Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter tells The Guardian that his Waverly Inn, is more than a chow house for boldface names, it's social finishing school and offers this insight: "I'm a very shy person but I forced myself during the Oscar evenings to go out and be engaging to people and make them feel comfortable," he says. "And then you learn how to seat people. Life is all about seating and lighting."

• Exploring the Hills: Lauren Conrad confirms that The Hills isn't real—sorta—telling Entertainment Weekly, "We don't have writers on this show. We make our own decisions; we say what we want to say. That's who we are. People can sit back and say it's real, it's fake, but at the end of the day to me this is real because this is my life."

• Led officially gotten-out: Led Zeppelin rocks out in London, together in concert for the first time since 1980. Aging stoners everywhere rejoice.