Last night, at the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan, Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour hosted CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute, an occasion recognizing a slew of everyday heroes who've fought for social justice or have helped save lives. But that didn't prevent the event from being the most lifeless occasion in recent memory.

The rather pedestrian nature of the affair was likely part of the reason no A-listers actually accepted CNN's invitation to attend. (Stars are just like us, but it seems we are not like stars). Still, Tyra Banks, Rosario Dawson, and the Asian guy from Heroes were on hand to present and twirl for bored-looking paps.

As many of those receiving awards were rape victims and leukemia survivors, the mood was wholly somber. The only guest who evoked even a modest reaction from the crowd was John Smeaton, the airport baggage handler who prevented a terrorist attack by tackling would-be bombers in Glasgow. (He was also in GQ's "Man of the Year" issue). At one point, the flailing broadcast's flustered stage manager came out and asked everyone to applaud loudly. He then instructed that they "clap like that for everything else." By and large the crowd ignored him.

The unsung hero of the night had to be co-host Amanpour, who was left to report from outside in the bitter cold for the entire first half of the broadcast, while A-Coop emceed inside alone comfortably. During each commercial break, Amanpour, in a becoming scarf and jacket combo, rushed inside to heat up. When signing off, she commented with a sigh of relief, "Let's go back inside, into the warmth, with Anderson Cooper." Come to think of it, Anderson gives us a warm feeling, too.