Did Tim Gunn always seem this drunk and aloof during the previous three seasons of Project Runway? Or is he just trying to offset the fabulous-with-an- exclamation-point that this season is? Yes, it's the homosexualest Runway yet—all but one of the eight male contestants is gay. There is so much gay going on that Tim provides stark contrast as he lounges around the studio with his bad posture and severely unbuttoned shirt. His "Carry on"s and "Make it work"s lack the zip and joy of previous seasons. It's as if they're chores. What's wrong, Tim?

For that matter, what's wrong with the rest of the judges? Most fans have wondered whether or not the show would still be enjoyable in its fourth season, but the real question seems to be whether the judges will be. Michael Kors chides one designer for adding a flower to his dress, calling it "Mother of the Bride" (it still won), yet praises a Vera Wang look-alike for plastering a shiny metallic one onto hers. And Heidi Klum, who's already calling this season's contestants a bunch of crybabies, delivers her "auf"s with mild disinterest and says "One of you will be out" like she's about to remove her earrings, smear Vaseline on her face, and club the designers like seals (yeah, sorry about that).

Who are the designers on the receiving end of Heidi's blitzkrieg? Naturally, there are a few disposable Runway archetypes, but early standouts Jack and Rami (he of the "Mother of the Bride" dress) are clearly competing for Hottest Designer Ever. Kit, this year's Alison but with slightly more talent, believes that "life is too short to wear a bad outfit." Elisa designed a really beautiful dress, then shoved the rest of the fabric up her model's metaphorical ass and took a nap to sleep off all the crazy; she seems fun. Marion the florist seems timid and shy now but it would not be surprising to discover a little shop of horrors bubbling beneath the surface. And, as already noted, Victorya looks like Vera Wang's twin sister.

Who'd we leave out? Oh, right, the losers. Simone's inability to comprehend the fact that non-complementary colors don't magically start matching when you make a poorly stitched dress and hideous jacket out of them marked her as a literal loser. Christian, who seems destined to make beautifully constructed yet disappointingly ugly outfits, has decided to play the role of Resident Bitch of the Season, offering a running commentary on anything and everything you never wanted to know about. He's sort of like the OK! magazine of designers.

But perhaps the most confusing thing about the premiere was the mad dash made by all the designers for a piece of plaid that was revered as the holy grail of fabrics. Ultimately, it was only used in Christian's design. Which just goes to show that plaid is never a good idea, unless you're a bitch. And even then, you're pushing it.