Compensating much, Details? Perhaps tired of all the gay jokes (even those coming from inside the house), the most effeminate "straight" rag on the newsstand shows its bi-curious side in this month's holiday issue. A back-page essay leers on about just how great it would be if we had a superhot First Lady in the Oval Office.

Titled "Backlash," the mini-rant replaces the old back-page feature, "Gay or...", which, in line with Details' traditional purview, was nothing more than an excuse to float a bunch of tired gay innuendos (and occasionally offend Asian people). "Just how cool would it be to see Jeri Thompson lean over the president's desk in the Oval Office?" asks Details. You see, a "FLILF" wouldn't just be good for America—"it will be good for our libidos." You see? It's practically our civic duty to vote for Dennis Kucinich!

The whole thing reads like it was written by some guy whose co-workers caught him staring at pictures of Brad Pitt's abs for just a bit too long so that he now needs to prove how totally straight he is with heterosexual excess. Which we could chalk up as an isolated incident, if it weren't for this spread on a supposedly "new" species of smokin' California blonde. (Get this—they're "toned but jiggly!").

We never thought we'd say this, but it kind of makes us yearn for the Details that just made us hate ourselves.