BEHOLD: CHESTICLES Pitt

As a happily unmarried 43-year-old father of four , mega-hunk Brad Pitt has officially joined Dr. Tobias Fünke in the ranks of the dozens never nudes staunching refusing to remove their cut-offs. "I don't want to be embarrassed when my kids get old enough to see my films. I can't see any more nude scenes," Pitt recently said.

The news comes as a major bummer to just about everyone who enjoyed seeing the two-time Sexiest Man Alive in the altogether, which was just about everyone. But lucky for us, Pitt's shame is newfound. His eagerness to remove his clothes in the past leaves us with an impressive back-log Brad in the buff. And of course, there's the notorious paparazzi shot that gave us our first real glimpse at the Pitt junk.

• L.A. To Get New Billionaire Spawn
• 2 Girls, 1 Former Attorney General