Attention Washington state Young Republicans: State Rep. Richard Curtis is looking for legislative pages between the ages of 14 and 16 to help around the office. In addition to permission from your parents and school, you are strongly encouraged to not read this spectacular new police report involving Rep. Curtis, a boy band-looking gay dude known as "Stallion" ("Pony Boy" was taken), and an extortion scheme centering on some cringe-inducing, graphically described man-love between the old dude and his young pet.

Pay no attention to rumors about Curtis wearing red stockings and black sequined lingerie top while getting a hairy-lipped hummer from some guy in the movie stall of a Seattle-area sex shop. Just take comfort in Curtis's claims that "I have not had sex with a guy."

[Screen grab of Curtis Web solicitation—which was still live at post time—after the jump!]