Did alleged pervert millionaire Jeffrey Epstein touch your lady bits inappropriately after having you over to his Manhattan town-manse for a "massage"? William J. Unroch wants to help.

"I'd be more than happy to represent any other young girls or young boys in cases against Mr. Epstein. As long as I think the claims are meritorious," Unroch, the somewhat unhinged attorney/boyfriend of inaugural Epstein plaintiff Maximilia Cordero—and highly skilled seahorseman—told Radar over the phone. (Victims, contact him here.) "My personal stance is that Jeffrey Epstein's behavior is abominable. He's using his position to prey on younger girls. There are a lot of wolves in the woods like him who need to be dealt with."

Any free legal advice for upstart catwalkers? "Modeling is wonderful for both younger and older people ... One just has to be careful to not take things rich people say too seriously, because they don't often have the best intentions of others in mind." He's less effusive as to how he and Cordero started dating. "We go way back, but I won't get into details on how we know each other."