• Hills trollop's fake date: Lauren Conrad date victim describes her as a Red Bull-swilling, ice-cream deprived conversation killer. Also, The Hills is pretend.

• Misappropriating Miss Manners: Her Southern hospitality affronted, an etiquette coach in Alabama is suing Sacha Baron Cohen for duping her into looking at penis pictures to make more funny his film.

• Continence challenged: Public urinator Mike Gravel trods out old 1984/American airport comparison before calling TSA employees "intellectually challenged."

• Bollywood's bad-boy begs for bail: Two-time Filmfare Awards winner and former drug addict Sanjay Dutt sought bail today in New Delhi, where he was convicted on terrorism charges based on what he now claims was a false confession.

• Price of admission gets out of control: In the most icky product tie-in of all time, fans of the Saw movie franchise are joining the nationwide Red Cross "Give 'Til it Hurts" blood drive hoping to collect 60,000 pints this year.

• NME DOA? Rumors are swirling in the UK about the demise of the print version of 55-year-old alternative music mag NME, according to English newsletter PopBitch. Only nme.com would remain, as the rumblings go.