SOB STORY Spears

• Two parents enter, one parent leaves (bawling): Britney and K-Fed manage to come together for a small, court-ordered lesson in co-parenting. Spears reportedly erupts in tears.

• Flaming idiocy: If there's a time and a place for everything, for arson, that place is not currently California. After shooting one suspected arsonist last night, San Bernardino police have detained yet another today.

• Sealed package: Heidi Klum confides in Oprah Winfrey that her love for husband Seal began when she first saw him in a pair of bicycle shorts. Or, in Klum's own words: "I was, like, wow."

• Aims to please: Rudy Guiliani reassures a former officer blinded in the line of duty that as president he would work to preserve blind citizens' right to bear arms.

• Terror-list: According to a new report, the government's terrorist watch list now includes more than 755,000 suspects—a growth of nearly 600,000 names since 2004. An official at the Center for National Security Studies, knocks the exclusivity of this little club. Membership fees, maybe?

• Malibu's Four-star Evacuation
• Backpedaling Barack's Gay Openers